This morning I intended to enjoy a tasty low-fat yoghurt, my usual breakfast. I was horrified to find that the first one I took from the fridge was definitely off and in the second I tried, I found a hair at the bottom of the pot.

I phoned the company who produced said dairy products and was treated very courteously and helpfully upon production of my proper title. Sometimes being able to not be "Mr Ogley" is very helpful.