This started off as a series of tweets I posted. While the rest of the church seems to be focused on the impending doom of the non-rapture (Rapture Fail; Maggi Dawn), I got to thinking how the whole process of making clergy appointments could be “improved” if it were more like how footballers are transferred between clubs.
- The Church Times would have to have a gossip column to cover all the “information” flying about.
- As Petertide (hereafter to be called Licensing Deadline Day) approached each year, the number of curates spotted near Archdeacons’ houses would steadily increase. Every time a Team Vicar was spotted having a coffee in a parish other than their own, the phones would start to ring too.
- The church press would be awash with patrons issuing statements to quash rumours of impending interregnums. “We have full confidence in Steve as vicar of St Martha in the Marsh and expect him to see out at least the term of his license”.
- The latest press scandal makes a splash as the CEN report that the Church Times has been hacking Bishops’ phones. The story quickly dies though as the fact that no-one in the church is sufficiently able technically to guess someone’s password becomes clear.
- Parishioners of parishes in vacancy would be the regular subject of vox-pops asking who they’d like to see “up-front” next.
- Best of all, clergy houses would be a lot bigger. And they’d all be in Cheshire, making Chester the church’s largest diocese by clergy numbers.
Now it’s over to you – leave a comment: If clergy were like footballers…
3 comments
James Ogley
20/05/2011 at 13:47 (UTC 1) Link to this comment
From Roger: Superinjunctions stopping any mention of relationship with the lady who does the church flowers for the second Sunday each month. (via Twitter)
James McLaren (Jersey, Channel Islands)
20/05/2011 at 22:25 (UTC 1) Link to this comment
- newspapers more interested in what tea shop the darksider* frequents than their performance behind the altar
- HTB bought up by a billionaire Metropolitan from the Russian Orthodox church?
* you can tell that I’m a Reader!
Ordinandy
21/05/2011 at 11:04 (UTC 1) Link to this comment
- Clergy statements about their ongoing loyalty to St Bernard’s on the Estate would only fuel speculation about their rumoured appointment to their fierce rival St Madge’s on the Other Estate.